Having admin online is always the best way, like it was in the old school MMOs.
I don’t even have time to play all day long, but any player that observes something odd can simply tap one key and start recording and show the video to me later.
When I see obvious “anomalies” in player’s behaviour I ban them.

Anyway OP has been clearly involved in breaking the ToS, he also mentions being easily upset, so there must have been some rude or threatening behaviour on the chat. This is why permaban.

It’s better to remove 1 problematic player than having all the rest leave because of him - another wisdom from private server owners.