Who is responsible for decisions, to me, highly depend on what we are deciding on. Generally the tank is the obvious choice, but doesn’t have to be.
As a tank i always tell people what tactic i aim for, if there are more regular choices. For instance HE5, i’ll choose the order, and as a DPS i’ll ask for it, if not told. And on the way to HE4, i’ll respect whatever rush tactic the tank asks for (kill/hide/die).
If deciding if we should burn through the blue phase on Ur-draug, I’ll ask the healer, cause they are the ones who primarily make that work. This also means as the healer i’ll declare wether or not i can manage the blue phase.
If my group is at a fight where mechanics are known to be hard to have one player cover, i’ll ask if that extra purge is needed, or that extra support stun. Some fights i’ll go ahead and just bring certain things. I mostly run with an extra impair, more so as i am melee, and can end up in a pickle if the tank suddenly realize they don’t have a stun ready.
What people prefere is entirely up to them. However if you (as a team) bash your head against a boss mechanic, stop and figure out what is missing as a team. If your tank or healer or even a DPS asks if someone can cover something specific, don’t go with “no” just because your personal DPS suffer a bit.
“Dead DPS is no DPS” It’s as simple as that.
This goes for DPS checks and non-DPS checks. For fights with no DPS check, worry less about the numbers and more about staying alive. So what if it takes a few sec longer.
Unfortunately i have had people refuse to bring a support stun for things like HR1, despite me as the Tank asking for it. Neither would they bring more HP. The idea that tanks should be the leaders is fine and all, if the rest of the team respect their decisions, otherwise it means nothing.
Fights that include Adds is where my fellow DPS can really disappoint me. Don’t assume someone else will cover for you not killing those adds. If there are a lot of them bring an AoE. If it’s 1 bomb running up here and there, watch and nuke it. As a DPS for those fight’s i’ll often declare that i am going full AoE. That is the one case where maybe you don’t have to worry about bringing your own AoE … if nothing is said please cover your 1/3 of the add damage.