Welcome to the community, Spies!
Sorry that you are having trouble. If this were on the PC, I might have a couple of ideas for you. But I am completely unfamiliar with the environment on XBox.
Can you provide more information about you and your friend’s attempt to get in and play the game? Are you playing on a private server, or on an official server? Where are you and your friend, geographically? I am not sure if the XBox side has high ping rate checks that would kick you if your latency was too bad, or not.
Try to give us some more information about your experience, what servers you are joining, and perhaps someone familiar with the XBox side of the house can provide you with some recommendations. Good luck!