You’re thinking it backwards. If people were respectful towards each other, there would be no need for de-escalating because things would not escalate. Misunderstandings would not result in escalation as easily as they do now because people would assume misinterpretation, rather than malice.

Think about any flame war on the forums. They have started from either
a) one person being a jerk, or
b) one person misinterptetating the other person for being a jerk.

If people being jerks wasn’t the default option, neither of this would happen.

My take in this is, being civil and respectful has no drawbacks compared to being a dick, and it produces significantly better results in many, many cases.

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