The overarching:
Do not take it too seriously, it’s just a game.

The more specific:
Either find a clan to learn in (if you leave a clan, all that was yourself becomes theirs and you keep no thralls and no buildings).
Or
Watch a few YouTube/streaming events.

If you want to try something out, do it in single player first, the consequences are far more mild if it goes pear shaped.

Your enemy’s skill will always be augmented by lag and other factors beyound the pale.

This game is not fair, it doesn’t pretend to be.
By realistically expecting the bad, you avoid the pain of disappointment when the good fails.