how come my transfer cool down timer keeps resetting i need to move my char before merge so i dont lose it
You’ve left it too late. The announcment stated that servers would be taken down for the update on the 4th, and then the update would be released on the 5th. If you are on EL, you won’t lose anything. If you are on Siptah, you will lose your build and stored items, but your character and all your followers (and everything they are carrying) should all be moved automatically to a new server. (Once you get there and find a place you want, put down a foundation/start building a base and you will be able to place your followers from the folowers tab.
you are too late, that window closed yesterday afternoon