Solomon Island has, for all intents and purposes, fallen. Following the fog that descended, the creatures that appeared out of it, and the motives of those who now visit; everything has changed. The environment, the towns, and most importantly, the people. The island is in quarantine. No-one gets in, and certainly no one gets out. Apart from, that is, agents pursuing interests. But those interests do not always benefit the populace having to remain there. Who will look after them? The Kingsmouth Patrol, that’s who. A team dedicated to safeguarding the streets and countryside of the island, the strange and the mundane, the mindful and the mindless, but mainly to ensure that the people survive long enough for rescue.
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++Here we go, Solomon Island… again… Feels like only last month I was here, tracking a f—ing hammer, or something. Oh, wait, it was last month… No idea who I pissed off to get sent here over and over, but I bet it’s because I knocked over Geary’s Yukka or I wasn’t enthusiastic about old-school hip-hop or something. I’ve been hitting the Dumbdumb juice a lot recently - god knows what I’ve done, to be honest… F—… my… life…
This time, they’ve given me one of those journal devices, recording me as I go. Supposed to be so I can keep track of my tasks and progress, but we all know that it’s for keeping an EyE™ on me. Hey, you’re only paranoid if you’re wrong.
The device is called a Digital Audio/ Visual Evidencing or DAVE for short. I have a theory, well, more of a sneaking suspicion, that people come with names and then crowbar the tech and the acronym explanation afterwards. This thing is going to be the bane of my existence. As I said earlier. F—… my…. life…++.
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The patrol meets up at the same place, same time, outside the kindergarten, near that John Wolf fellah.
[Malacoda]: “Hey, everyone.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Hiya Mala! How’s you? And hiya Bee, all well I hope?”
[Malacoda]: “Heh, life - surviving and stuff like that. What about you two?”
[Beewitched]: “Spirits are looking up now that summer is almost over.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Oh, not so bad… The clusterf— going on around the Supreme Court is both scary and mildly entertaining.” She waves at the approaching Shayetet and Evs.
[Shayetet]: “There. All done. Nice to see you again.”
[Gerrymandering]: “And you! How have you been? Hiya Evs! How’s it going?”
[Shayetet]: “Good, good. Been back home for a while. Things stirring under the old city and whatnot. Same old, same old.”
Evs waves at Geri, “Same old, same old, too. Busy days, lack of sleep.”
Malacoda waves to both Evs and Shaye.
[Beewitched]: “Wow, quite the crowd today.”
[Gerrymandering]: "It’s great to have you all here! I appreciate you giving up your time for this, as do the people of Solomon Island.” Gerrymandering takes out her EyEphone and swiping it active, taps the screen a few times. “We’re going to have to set off soon though. Been asked to check out a Labyrinth agent gone missing. Jacob “Jake” Sargent. Senior agent. Been investigating things on the coast.” After a couple of seconds a faint beep emits from the phone.
Shayetet takes off her beret and glasses and puts them in her pants-side pocket.
[Gerrymandering]: “His GPS signal is still active, but it hasn’t moved for like three days. So it’s a concern”
Shayetet pulls out her mask from her jacket and polishes the eyeglasses somewhat before putting it on. “Not moving for three days means dead in most cases. Or dropped GPS…”
[Beewitched]: “Three days, huh? Whereabouts are we talking?”
[Evs]: “Do we know where on him his transmitter is? Did the agent know? I heard some agents have no idea where it is and discard it by accident. He pauses. “Well, some, as in, one…”
[Gerrymandering]: “LumieMaps says near to the Lighthouse.”
Shayetet peers at Evs. “By accident?”
[Gerrymandering]: “This has come down from Geary herself, so we need to be low on F— ups today.”
[Evs]: “Yeah, I had to discard my gloves one day. Wasn’t informed it was there,” Evs shrugs at Shayetet.
Shayetet gives her German Shepherd a quick look. “Hear that, Sheri? No F—ups.”
Gerrymandering momentarily wonders how it would look were a German Shepherd to wear an Agent mask.
[Gerrymandering]: “Okay!” she claps her hands together. “Let’s go!” She looks around holding the phone in various directions. “Ah, this way, I think.”
They take the path down Henderson’s Gate, between the Fairground and the ‘Savage Coast’ itself. It’s a nice, early Autumn day; the sky pale blue and the air crisp but not too cold. Certainly not to those wearing the thick assault-proof uniforms.*
[Gerrymandering]: “So, how have your day to day Labyrinth activities been?”
[Beewitched]: “Pretty quiet on my end, actually. Bit of a summer lull, I guess?”
[Gerrymandering]: "Same here! Been left to my own devices on the Hill for the most part. Still not worked out which side of the Trump wall the Labyrinth are hedging.”
[Malacoda]: “Had to do paperwork all week - one of the worst weeks I’ve ever had.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Paperwork?? Wow, who did you upset?”
[Malacoda]: “No-one… Maybe…?” He coughs. “The usual people I guess…"
[Shayetet]: “The Powers That Be need their sacrifice in paper and ink.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Oh, I hear that.”
[Evs]: “Paperwork always gets the hate. I find it somewhat unfair. And its importance is often neglected.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Not everyone appreciates admin like you do, Evs?”
Evs sighs. “Yeah.”
[Malacoda]: I mean, it’s not that bad actually. I love to write stuff on paper, but I hate when I have to study things on precompiled modules."
[Gerrymandering]: “Oh, retraining days…” She shudders. “How about you, Shay? Been busy?”
[Shayetet]: “I’ve been on vacation back home.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Oh, nice! Hope it was relaxing!”
[Shayetet]: “How have things been back here?”
[Gerrymandering]: “Oh, you know. Quiet some days, fraught with peril and people or things either wanting to shoot you or eat you, on other days…”
With everything that’s happened to Solomon Island since The Fog came down, the normal and the mundane have now become the unusual. So it is at the sight of an abandoned car.
[Beewitched]: “Nice parking job there.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Not often that you see a car this far from the tunnel."
[Shayetet]: “Think it’s recent? The crash, I mean?”
[Malacoda]: “The passenger probably got lost, it explain the navigator on the phone”
[Gerrymandering]: "Expensive looking wheels, too.” She peers inside. “No sign of blood or anything, so I guess they walked away okay.”
They leave the vehicle and continue to walk towards the lighthouse and the last recorded position of the missing agent.
The beeps get slightly louder and more frequent.
[Gerrymandering]: “Anyway, moving on”
*The beeps continue to increase in volume and frequency.
[Gerrymandering]: “I think we’re nearly…”
The beeps reach a high point and cut out.
[Gerrymandering]: “…there… Hmmm….”
[Shayetet]: “Find it?”
[Gerrymandering]: “No… Must be around here somewhere…”
As they move around the area, seeking the transmitter, a sound can be heard faintly, like someone talking on a radio.
[Gerrymandering]: “Can anyone else hear that?”
[Shayetet]: “Sounds like a radio left on or something.”
Gerrymandering holds her phone around like a divining rod.
[Beewitched]: “What’s that under the stairs?” She bends down and picks up a small, black device.
[Gerrymandering]: “Probably seaweed.Oh! What is it, Bee?”
[Beewitched]: “Not sure. Old phone, maybe?”
[Shayetet]: “Pretty solidly sealed up, all around.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Does it work? Anything on it?”
[Beewitched]: “Oh, there we go. Grubby old case on it threw me off.”
The device almost seems to switch on and the screen lights up of its own accord.
[Beewitched]: “Older model EyePad? There’s an app running, some kind of audio diary?”
Very few apps on the screen though there is one inviting icon that says “++Play Me++”.
[Shayetet]: “There’s probably not much battery left.”
[Malacoda]: “i’ve got a power bank if needed, no worries”
Shayetet gives Malacoda a thumbs up.
[Beewitched]: “Let’s see… couple of audio entries. Let’s just go with the first one. And whoever owned this thing needs a lesson in basic security. Not even a pattern lock?”
The miniature speakers crackle a little and for a while there seems to be nothing other than the rasp of breathing.
++Good day! And thank you for choosing Digital Audio/ Visual Evidencing; for all your data capture needs. D.A.V.E. is the latest in personable recording. Please select a name or identifying sound with which to activate your device. The default name or sound is “Dave”. Please speak to enter your personal name or identifying sound…++
[Voice]: “Shi-… This I do not F—ing need.”
++I’m sorry but that has exceeded the maximum number of syllables available for your subscription plan, that is currently at… ‘Basic’. Please select a name or identifying sound of no more than four syllables or two seconds of identifying sound.++
[Voice]: “Fine, Dave.”
++Please confirm that you wish the name or identifying sound to be ‘Fine, Dave’"++
[Voice]: “No, wait, I didn’t mean—”
++Please select a name or identifying sound of no more than four syllables or two seconds of identifying sound++
[Voice]: “Dave…” The voice drips with barely contained contemptuous malevolence.
++Please confirm that you wish the name or identifying sound to be ‘Dave’"++
[Voice]: “Yes…”
++Thank you! You may begin recording at any time by simply saying ‘Hello Dave’ clearly towards the micoreceptors.++
[Voice]: "Hello… Dave… Jesus… F—ing… christ… Who the F— did I F— off to F—ing end up in this F—ing dump? Jesus, you have a few F—ing drinks at the F—ing office party and pat the wrong F—ing ass and they send you to the ass end of F—ing nowhere. But I’ll F—ing show 'em. Jake Sargent’ll be F—ing back in the F—ing hot seat in no F—ing time. Especially when I crack this F—ing mission.”
++There is a pause in the recording++
[Voice]: “Hello… Dave… Looks like the F—ing Draug’re up to something. Going to F—ing check that shi- out.”
[Beewitched]: “Someone has issues…”
[Shayetet]: “I don’t think it’s a kid’s iPad.”
Gerrymandering blinks. “Was the letter 'F on Sesame Street that day or something??”
Malacoda tilts his head.
Evs is tired, but the speech brings him back to his senses for all its duration.
[Gerrymandering]: “Draug? Are there many near here?”
[Beewitched]: “Oh, yeah. Whole area underneath the lighthouse is swarming with them.”
[Shayetet]: “Maybe closer to the water? They like water.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Okay, let’s head down to the beach. Won’t have time for any buckets or spades I’m afraid.”
[Shayetet]: “I have grenades…”
As the team eases along the beach, a rusting shipwreck in the near distance attracts their attention. As they near it, the recording device appears to continue of its own accord.
[Shayetet]: “Oh, Schhh, hear that?”
[Voice]: “Hello… Dave… Oh just F—ing brilliant, rusting ships are a dime a dozen on this F—ing island. Mooching around, nothing useful, bit of scrap. No cargo, must have washed away or the locals’ve got it, and by locals I mean the F—ing mermen and merfreaks here. Ariel the little F—ing mermaid these things ain’t.”
[Beewitched]: “I think we finally found someone with more F—s-per-minute than Gordon Ramsay.”
[Voice]: “Hello… Dave…Cut my F—ing hand on the side of the F—ing thing as well. Gonna head back up to that bluff to see if there’s any bandages in that house. Where’s a F—ing healer when you need one. Can’t all be Tanks and damage dealers…”
[Shayetet]: “I think he sounds a little unhappy about his life.”
[Gerrymandering]: “He is certainly not embracing the opportunity he’s been given, no.”
[Shayetet]: “See any blood? From his hand cut?”
[Gerrymandering]: “Well, there’s a smear of something, but around here it could be anything really.”
[Beewitched]: “High tide must’ve washed it away.”
++The recording starts again.++
[Voice]: “Hello… Dave…Jeez, this is hurting like a bi—. and when I say ‘bi—’ I mean that tight-assed moth—” the recording scrambles for a few seconds but then returns. “I mean where the F— does she get off making me—”
++The recording sounds mangled for a few more seconds before returning.++
[Voice]: “Hello… Dave… Nothing here. Thought I saw a farm house or something down the way. Hopefully, they’ll have a F—ing first aid kit. Don’t want this getting infected. Might need to wash it out with some alcohol. Yeah, some F—ing alcohol would be good right now”
[Gerrymandering]: “Is there a farmhouse around here? I mean, I know there’s scarecrows, but I can’t recall an actual farmhouse”
[Beewitched]: “There’s the Henderson farm, but that’s up by the old park. He can’t have meant that. Maybe one of the old barns?”
[Malacoda]: “I’m not that familiar with the area unfortunately.”
[Shayetet]: “Isn’t there some kind of barnlike thing west of here? Or, maybe … southwest…”
[Gerrymandering]: “Oh, right. Should we check that out, then?”
Shayetet tries to see the sun somewhere. “Ah, southwest.”
*The walk is not far and it is only a matter of minutes before they reach a small ridge overlooking a farmstead.
[Gerrymandering]: “Oh right, that barn”
[Beewitched]: “It’s seen better days.”
[Gerrymandering]: “The story of Solomon Island”
++The recording starts again++
[Voice]:“Hello… Dave… What the actual F—? Some abandoned cars in the area, I go to check to see if there’s anything in the glove compartments, and the F—ing cars rise up and try to beat the living shi- out of me. At first I thought if this is Transformers, where’s Megan Fox? But then these don’t turn into robots, but F—ing golem F—s!”**
[Gerrymandering]: “Okay, that doesn’t sound good.”
[Shayetet]: “These cars?” Shayetet looks sceptical.
[Gerrymandering]: “Look like rusted wrecks to me”
[Shayetet]: “Yeah… Wait, there’s something.”
Shayetet points towards the ‘wreck golem.’
Gerrymandering peers into a car. “Nothing rising up here.”
[Shayetet]: “It’s alive.”
[Beewitched]: “Bumblebee has seen better days, too.”
[Shayetet]: “Still… No Optimus Prime…”
[Beewitched]: "Yeah, no Megan Fox, either.”
The car suddenly crumples in on itself, almost crushing Geraldine within until Malacoda grabs her by the tunic and pulls her out. The vehicle attempts to stand up, but any option to use wheels as legs has long since gone and it is a sitting duck for the combined firepower of the team.
++Once it is dispatched, the recording starts again.++ [Voice]: “Hello! Dave! The cars! And no, I don’t mean Ric Ocaek either! I’m getting the F— outta here! The barn. If I can just make it to the barn.”
[Shayetet]: “Nicely done there Mala! Are you alright Ma’am?” Shayetet checks Geraldine for injuries.
[Malacoda]: “How about we leave too? This place isn’t safe.”
Gerrymandering blinks quickly behind her mask. “Omigod! That– that was… Thanks Mala!”
[Gerrymandering]: “Anyone else feel like they’re being led by the nose?”
[Beewitched]: “Nose, or noose?”
[Gerrymandering]: “I’d rather not say, Bee/”
[Malacoda]: “Yeah we should really really leave, i don’t want to find out if any other cars can do that also. Are you ok, Ger?”
[Gerrymandering]: “Yeah, I’m fine, thanks Mala. I’m fine. Let’s just find this guy and get away from here.”
Quietly reaching the barn it’s hard not to feel wary about the next time that might possibly befall them.
[Gerrymandering]: “Hopefully he’s in the barn”
Gerrymandering stares into the barn and blinks at the figure hanging from the rafters within. “You were saying, Bee…”
[Beewitched]: “I hate it when puns turn to prophecy…”
Malacoda looks up.
[Gerrymandering]: “Is it him?”
[Shayetet]: “Looks more like… Is he impaled on something?”
[Beewitched]: “Whoever that was, looks like they’ve been hung out to dry.”
++Again, the recording crackles into life.++ [Voice]: “Hello… Dave… Jesus F—ing Christ! I try to catch a few breathers on the straw bales and this F—ing guy rises up and starts moaning. I thought it was a F—ing zombie so I grab the nearest thing to hand, which turns out to be a pitchfork and stab the F—er back to death…! …Only it’s blood that comes out…”
[Gerrymandering]: “I know I’m no great shakes in the field, but even I know that Zombies don’t bleed.”
[Beewitched]: “Whoops?”
[Shayetet]: “He killed a farmer?”
[Voice]: “Gotta cover this the F— up, or I’m for all kinds of shi-”
[Gerrymandering]: “That or a survivor on the island hiding out in the barn just like him…” She pauses, listening to the silence. “Nothing more on the recording?”
[Beewitched]: “Might be more breadcrumbs to follow. If that’s not him, he’s still somewhere out there.”
[Shayetet]: “Maybe this is the guy he forked?”
[Gerrymandering]: “What next then? He’s obviously no longer here.”
There is the sound of rapid impacts on the ground, along with that of which can only be a chainsaw. Incredibly, several scarecrows, their features painted on stuffed sacking, their limbs and torsos straw packed tightly into old clothes. One indeed carris a chainsaw, another a shotgun, the others various farm tools.
[Shayetet]: “Scarecrows seems upset”
[Voice]: “DAVE! DAVE! HELLO! DAVE! SCARECROWS, DAVE!! SCARECROWS!! MOTHER… F—ING… SCARECROWS!!!”
[Shayetet]: “If there’s nothing left on the recordings, maybe we should have another look where we found it, now that we have more of the story?”
[Voice]: *Gonna get back to the bluff and radio for a helicopter or a porta-portal or something. Anything to get me off this F—ing island! I’ll be good! I’ll lick her boots clean every day if I have to!"
[Gerrymandering]: “Good plan, Shay. Let’s head back.”
Shayetet gently pats Geraldines shoulder, comforting.
[Gerrymandering]: “You know what’s been bothering me about all this?”
[Shayetet]: “Scarecrows? Cause you seemed a little… bothered…:”
[Beewitched]: “That he was out here all by himself?”
[Gerrymandering]: “Well, yes, of course, scarecrows, but we found that device at the bluff at the start of all this, and we’ve been following him around listening to the recordings, right?”
[Beewitched]: “He must’ve made it back? Maybe the recordings we like… geo-tagged or something?”
[Gerrymandering]: “If we had all the recordings at the start, why was that device there? I mean it’s not like he was adding it everytime we reached somewhere?”
[Shayetet]: “That is a bit weird…”
[Gerrymandering]: “But that was the only sign of him? The eyePad?”
A dark, twisted, humanoid creature with limbs and appendages at impossible angles and lengths, rises from the shadow of the Shack’s steps. Its features are skeletal, with dark coals of eyes deep within their sockets. It appears unclothed, but a filthy substance suppurates across its body, dripping to the ground around it.
[Beewitched]: “Whoah.”
[Shayetet]: “Filthy!”
[Corrupted Secret Worlder]: “GIMME BACK MY F—ING DAVE, YOU F—SSSS…!”
It might be shock, or training, but the team know what to do when faced with a Filth Creature; and that is to open fire. If there’s anything left afterwards to interrogate, then happy days. But safety first.
The creature staggers backwards under the onslaught; chunks of rotten blackened flesh flap and hang from parts of the body that look barely held together by threads of flesh and filthy sinew. After the order is given to cease firing, it slumps to its knees. It utters one last thing. “…g’bye…. Dave…” and ‘melts’ into a dark, bubbling puddle that seems to be absorbed into the ground alarmingly swiftly
[Gerrymandering]: “Was that, was that him??”
[Shayetet]: “No, that was a filth creature, wasn’t it?”
++The recording emits one last message++ [Voice]: “Hello… Dave… Nobody’s coming. Not for me. This is what they wanted, right from the start. Me. Here. Facing these things…”
[Malacoda]: “Filth…” say with disgust
[Voice]: “This… this island… It changes you… if you stay here long enough. Shows you for what you are. Holds up a big F—ing mirror, only now you’re the reflection and whatever it is now doing the looking is what you’ve become.”
[Beewitched]: “If Geary wanted him out of the way, why would she send five of us after him?”
[Voice]: “That cut’s getting worse. Infected with something and the Bee stuff doesn’t seem to be working. And that guy in the barn… Sweet Jesus… I’m sorry, Dave… so sorry… for everything…” ++There is a clatter of something being dropped and then silence.++
[Gerrymandering]: “To make sure?”
[Malacoda]: “I think she is better than that. I mean, would she really play with filth?”
[Shayetet]: “Maybe he wasn’t sent here as punishment, but as a test? A challenge to rise up to?”
[Gerrymandering]: “If what he did to people is true, I mean before here and while being here, maybe it all caught up with him and he was, you know, left out to dry, by Geary, by the Labyrinth,” she shrugs, "“Hell, even by Gaia? As a cautionary tale…”
[Malacoda]: “She would have killed him herself if she wanted him dead. We are talking about Geary.”
[Beewitched]: “No, she doesn’t do that. She sends messages.”
[Gerrymandering]: “This way, hands are clean, I guess. No audit trail. and we get to close the file.”
[Malacoda]: “Yeah, I guess we can say so.” He sighs.
[Shayetet]: “Yes, at least we can close that.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Indeed. I’ll call it in. Let her know…” Geraldine struggles for something positive. “Okay guys, I think we’ve been successful, though I don’t feel so cheered by the fact.”
[Shayetet]: “Should we notify Venice also, on account of a person going full filth like that here?”
[Gerrymandering]: “Would have to take it under advisement, Shay. I am sure that Geary wouldn’t like me, or anyone else, blabbing about this to Venice unless there was a positive spin or advantage to doing so. And the last thing I want is to be sent somewhere on my own and take my chances…”
[Shayetet]: “Of course”
[Malacoda]: “I’m fine with anything you decide, Ger. It’s not an easy choice.”
Beewitched hands the EyePad to Geri. “You decide what to do with the evidence, then.”
[Gerrymandering]: “Thanks Bee.” She takes the eyePad and stows it in a pocket. “Okay guys, thanks for coming. Despite what happened, it was a pleasure to patrol alongside you, and I hope we will again soon.”
[Shayetet]: “Likewise! Always an honour.”
[Beewitched]: “Good to be out in force.”
Evs nods.
The patrol disperses back to their own lives, some under the command of the Labyrinth, some to their own devices, waiting for the next call, but all under the Illuminati brand.
