I understand your frustration. I have experienced (and reported on) many of these ‘core’ system problems. I recently even started a thread in suggestions on how we seriously need an update focused primarily on an AI Overhaul for NPC’s. Thralls are such a big selling point in this game that it just seems a waste to not finish polishing that system, as it affects every mode of game play (PVP, PVE/-C, RP, Solo/Co-op).
Strides have been made in optimization with the most recent patches to testlive, but it takes time (and file size limits) for it to get implemented into consoles through Sony and Microsoft certifications. Hopefully they pull through soon and you get some much needed updates and fixes to your platform.
I’ll paraphrase what @Shadoza said, because it is very true. ‘Different strokes for different folks’. If this title doesn’t sate all of your needs, then the best of luck to you and I hope the best for your future ventures. Thank you for caring enough about the game to express your concerns. 