Unable to find my server + disconnected after direct connect

Are you not able to see it at all or not able to see in history/favourites? Do you and the server run the same game version (have you run the steam updates on the server)? What client do you use to connect: Live or TestLive?

Removing the mods may not be as simple as it sounds. Certain mods leave traces and may even corrupt the database when removed.

Have you checked the server logs for any clues?

In addition, you are using outdated mods + incorrect load order. Multigun was kind enough to give you some tips: Mod load order help needed