I wrote this for a weekly “newspaper” on my server and thought I might share it here, as I don’t think Conan Exiles gets many poems.
A story came out from the Black Hand, sad as any in this barren land,
Of a pirate filled with pride, though with exploits far and wide.
The captain said to his crew, “Are you ready to be run through?
Can you sacrifice it all, even should this day you fall?”
“Aye!” the poor soul leapt and did shout and lost his left one in that bout.
A patch hiding the hole from light, the pirate continued to fight.
Next he heard a crewmate’s demand, “I need help here, give me a hand!”
So he gave and the enemy took, then he held his cutlass with a hook.
Facing a foe stronger than most, he charged and began to boast,
“Now this feat, I will not lose!” Then his feet wore fewer shoes.
Half the man with twice the pride, for the final challenge he vied.
For glory no one could mock, he scrambled up Swagger Rock.
The King of Beasts, in his royal mane, saw his meal approach, clearly insane.
The buccaneer moved without fear, speaking boldly as he drew near,
“I come forward without alarm, I know you will cause me no harm.
I have slain many more men than you, crocs, locusts, and salamanders too.
I fight all day and under the stars, my skill displayed by my wounds and scars.
You do nothing all day but loll, so I’ll mount your head on my wall.
Faint before my visage and cower, you stand no chance against my power!”
Not knowing what the human had said, the cat did the opposite instead.
Before he could blink, it closed the gap, then it licked its lips and took a nap.
My other Conan Exiles poems:
A Poem of Cannibalism
A Poem of Fools
A Poem of Hubris
