Bill was talking to his friend john one day,
John, he says, what happened to your car? its all dented in, 2 wheels are flat and there’s a tree branch sticking through the windshield?
John replies, oh yeah that. I was driving in the country the other day and I ran over a Racoon.
Bill was astonished and says, a Racoon did all that?
John replies, well I missed it the first time…
A guy walks into a pet shop looking for a parrot. There he finds three with diffrent pricing. The first for 300, the second for 500 and the third cost 800. He asks the vendor why they have different pricing. The vendor explains:
The parrot for 300 has a tiny chain on his left feet. If you pull it, it will say “good morning!” to you.
Okay nice. The man says. Whats with the other?
The second parrot for 500 has a chain on his left and his right feet. If you pull them it will say “good morning!” and “good night!” to you.
Well, thats even better. The man replies. But whats with this ugly, greyish one for 800 bucks?
The vendor shrugs and answers: I don’t know whats so special about him, but the other two call him boss.