The Undying Thread ... Orochi Jokes

Ok time to ressurect this never dying thread of the numerous exploits of our ever Darwin award contestant faction … it would be great if all original authors of the jokes would pour them back into this new inception of the forums … Let the cringe begin ! Have fun reading.

How do you spot the new employee at an Orochi company event?

They're still alive. 

Full Credits to blupache .


hmmm whats this pool of potentially destructive black fluid
ponders what to do

eats it

Full Credits to Kaas87

"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Orochi employee."
"Orochi employee who?"
Screams and the sounds of fingers scrabbling in dirt, fading into a lasting silence. 

Full credits to: JeffChambers


How do you know when an Orochi has broken into your home?

Your cat is camping his corpse

Full Credits to : Bobdob


What’s black and white and red all over?
The Orochi away team

Full Credits to: blackhawk451


Meanwhile, in Orochi HQ, a very dusty zero sits on a sign under the words “Days without Fatal Incident”…

Full Credits to : Platinu

1 Like

Why don’t Orochi employees watch network television?
Because all they show these days is filth.

What is the most common form of transportation used by Orochi?

What did the one Orochi employee say to the other?
“You’ve got something black in between your tentacles"
"EEEERRRROWOWWWWOWOOWORRRRRRRRR!” Is also an acceptable answer

What is the number one cause of death at Orochi?
Death of fellow employees. Sploosh!

What is the reward for “Special Achievement” called at Orochi?
“The Darwin Award”

What do they call ice cream at Orochi?
Ice cream. What else would they call it?

Full Credits to : phelanka7


What’s the difference between a bunch of bananas and a bunch or Orochi? The bananas have a longer expirey date.

Full Credits to Speculative


I only found this one in Tokyo on a billboard:
Orochi - Because our building is the tallest.

Aside from that, every customer that bought one of those “special-:heart:” type nanny drones can rest assured, that their product has been thoroughly tested by a dedicated employee.
And you thought working at the thermometer quality check at Johnson&Johnson sucked…

There was a group of sciency blokes,
Who were the ■■■■ of many a joke,
Their job was quite tough,
But they weren't overly rough,
Orochi as disposable as rope.

Boom Boom! 

Full Credits to : Speculative

The Orochi were throwing grenades at the zombies. the zombies somehow managed to pull the pins out and bring them back.

Full Credits to : Swordguy

1 Like

Orochi Human Resources: Congratulations, you meet our qualifications, we’d like to extend an offer of employement to you

Interviewee: Thank you! I have some questions about the position though.

HR: Go ahead.

Interviewee: I noticed that under compensation, there was no salary information listed. However, there was a very detailed health care plan and a large life insurance policy.

HR: That's correct. We've found that most employees get far more value out of our healthcare and life insurance policies.

Interviewee: It also states that after 5 days of employement, I am guaranteed to get a promotion to management level. That must be a typo. Wouldn't 99% of the company be management by now?

HR: We've found that 99% of the company does not stay employed for 5 days.

Interviewee: Ah, a challenging environment, I like that. Final question, I accidentally filled out the form wrong. I answered "yes" to the question "Do you currently entertain suicidal thoughts?" but really meant "no".

HR: I'm sorry, you are no longer qualified for this position. 

Full Credits to : Marthos

Have you noticed you never see recurring Orochi characters?

Orochi Organization Chart , in order of importance:

1: Drones
2: Drones
3: Personel 

Full Credits to : Myxx

This thread is vital to me. Excellent

1 Like

Working at Orochi is like working at darth vader’s flagship, if you can stay alive for a week you be running the place.

Full Credits to : Megagame

1 Like

Why do the Orochi utilize drones?
So the coroner knows where to find the bodies.

Full Credits to CorpSanct

1 Like

How do you get to be Orochi employee of the month?


Full Credits to : Psygnosis
Super Moderator


How do you get to be Orochi employee of the quarter?

Avoid field work.

Full Credits to : Serra

1 Like

I think the scientists from the movie “Promethius” would have fit right in with Orochi:

“What do you mean we’re lost? You’re the guy in charge of mapping this place! Ah well, let’s go wait in the creepiest, most obviously dangerous part of this facility - you know, the one that freaked us out so badly that we tried to leave earlier. Oh look, an alien snake that grew fully within a couple of hours! That doesn’t seem weird at all - being a “scientist” I’m gonna poke it with my finger… OH GOD, IT’S RAPING MY FACE!!!”

Full Credits to: Nytegaunt