I will do my best to try the suggestions that you and others have made… but that one person really got to me and I guess that they either don’t understand or don’t care at all about the amount of mental and emotional damage their extremely rude and hateful words caused me especially since they don’t even know me… to everyone else that has been more kind and trying to help me I will say thank you again… but I really don’t know If I can continue posting here anymore because of how rude and hateful that one person was and they don’t seem to understand or care about what such tude and hateful words caused for someone like me… and I really feel like I should just give up and just continue dealing with the problem happening because I feel so stupid…
If those suggestions don’t work, we can try the ‘Direct Message’ option. It’s pretty straightforward to set up a small group chat, and we can bring in a few people who might have positive ideas - and may be able to come up with some more solutions if you’re able to get hold of the specific server settings and/or some logfiles. That way you can avoid the public forum and discuss the problem in a more private setting. It would be good to get to the bottom of what is happening, because (all else aside) it’s clearly something that shouldn’t be.
Ultimately, the choice is yours and you need to do what you feel is best for you, but I would say you have no reason to feel stupid - you came to the right place for help, even if not everybody wants to be helpful.
I’m really sorry if I hit you or shocked, it was not in my intentions .
Like @DanQuixote said, I’m not English -speaking I use a translator who sometimes does not translate exactly what I am writing.
The only certainty to have in your misadventures and that an ill -girling person uses the server’s administrative panel on which you played to give you a bad joke.
It is possible that it has been a bad parameter of the server or a bug, but being myself a owner of a private server for 7 years, I have never encountered this case, or heard about this bug.
Keep hope and courage and contact the administrator of your server with your friend friend to put things flat. good luck .
Switch to solo mode.
If you only play with your boyfriend and on XBox, playing on a server doesn’t add much (if any) benefit.
If the issue is caused by a trolling admin (very likely) or a hacker (possible), that switching to a solo game will end the issue.
People are mean, especially if they only know each other via internet communication. Does it make much sense to mess with other humans by throwing dragons at their video game base? No, it doesn’t. But sadly, we - or at least some of us - find it funny to do such things.
I, also, avoid online playing after decades of online gaming. People are nice and all, but the drama… the endless drama. You seem like a nice person, but maybe too nice to deal with people less nice. Avoid them, that’s my advice. If it’s a hacker, if it’s an admin, if it’s somebody else - what you are encountering is with very hich likelihood caused by a conscious decision by a human. So, just switch to a solo game.
The game even runs better in solo mode.
I’m sorry, but I have not seen anything rude or hateful here. Blunt, sure, but even I was being real nice for me. I tend to be quite abrasive and rude, usually with out intent, but some times fully intentional. My first ban was for telling some one to “put some brine on that boo boo”.
Right now I’m searching my head for some nice way to say something you obviously don’t want to hear because you are quite the delicate flower. You are being targeted because of the way you react. Some one is enjoying watching you run through the emotional gambit I’ve seen you post here. Have you spoken like this in chat or on some other forum, facebook?
On console? I think not, I can link you to threads that say otherwise.
Once again I recommend the public servers, they may run for crap some times, they may be over crowded, but no one is going to rain dragons on you just to watch you do this.
Oh, I didn’t know that. Still, it seems worth a try.
You think funcom is doing us PC users dirty, I think it’s Xbrick that’s a couple builds behind?
That’s not absolutely true…
It is mod, just illegal. If gportal find out the server will be totally wiped and the character who upload it will be banned (not necessarily the one who pays the rent) . In the past i played to some Playstation pvp servers that had a couple illegal mods.
Even if it is a mod (big doubts since this fonctility exists without mod with the admin panel), it can only be installed by the owner of the server or the people authorized by this one.
You’ll have to describe what these mods did/do.
The one had to do with decorating things that didn’t exist back then in the game (not even now in vanilla).
For example i builded a museum in a particular server and in the center the admin placed a colossal statue of Mitra.
After a couple days the server was totally wiped and a member of the admin team accepted account ban.
Don’t forget that people organize their rental and other settings from their pc, not from their console.
There are people out there that know and create mods for consoles and getting paid for it.
While I don’t doubt that the cracks have been opened during various instances, this is not the norm and would be addressed incredibly quickly by both companies; especially PS.
Are you sure the admin wasn’t accessing the admin panel to add an item that isn’t normally available? There’s a lot of items that don’t exist in the vanilla game.
Yes, i am 
. But enough said, other than that they got tracked really fast and they got their punishment. These are 2019-2020 stories… Too many servers back then sister, too many!!!
Did you had to install the mod on your console in order to access the server ? Since even on pc mods aren’t auto-downloaded upon selecting a modded server…?
No. I don’t know how they did it, neither how it worked. But you have to understand that there were things that only Admins could use none other.
Mhm but the thing is, in order to be able to see anything on your console you must have the file. For example if I add a mod on a server that adds a vase , in order for you to see the vase on the client( here the console) you must have downloaded the file and have it in your gamefiles for it to be displayed on the screen (with all the informations like color/textutre/geometry…ect), hence why in order to connect to a server that has a mod, you need to have the mod installed or it won’t let you connect to it. there are some games that let’s you click join a modded server and the files download automatically before being able to log in the server. But not Conan Exiles.
You’re correct to what you’re saying… When it comes to pc. You and me don’t know how consoles work, even Funcom doesn’t, the consoles are programmed from external associates.
So all it remains here is what i experienced. I have no reason to lie or exaggerate, no benefit from it. Neither i want to give more details than the ones i shared. I already said that the ones who used something like it got tracked really fast and punished.
End!
Just for clarification: The stuff discussed about console mods has NOTHING to do with the issue presented by UndeadDemon.
That’s not about a 2019 hack misfiring in 2025, that’s about a malicious person messing with a player. Don’t muddy the waters, fellow barbarians.
I have been taking my time to slowly try every suggestion so that I don’t get overwhelmed but either way I can’t help it that I feel stupid for posting here looking for help… I will continue to try the suggestions that were given but I’m having a really hard time trying to keep from just giving up…
Otherwise, find a serious alternative, UndeadDemon. Maybe you’ll ultimately enjoy playing on one of the official servers, or maybe you’ll try something like a private role playing server with a high number of players and reasonably good reputation for a change. All the best to you!