Bugs & all this - from a creative perspective!

Hello fellow Exiles!
Bugs plague us every day, a lot has been written about them, and I don’t know if that’s okay here, but I want to tackle this topic with a little humor and imagination!
It is a little story about 3 friends in the exiled lands, and…If one or the other sounds familiar to you while reading this short story - well, we are exiles after all! So here we go:

(Part I of „A Tale of a Bugs‘ life“ or an exciting day in the Exiled Lands)

It’s a sunny day, a light breeze blows over the sand, and we see a group of adventurers lying on the sand. When we take a closer look, we notice that this is a group of adventurers who are probably getting ready for a “mission”. It’s a group of three men, and they all look battle-hardened.

There are weapons and a few other things around the group, as well as three open backpacks. The warm summer breeze carries the grunts of crocodiles and other wildlife in the air, but these are drowned out by the group’s conversation.

The strongest one, a muscle man at least 6 feet tall, appears to be the leader. Sitting next to him is a man of average height and a smaller, thinner guy. So we get that the giant is a barbarian from Cimmeria, the thin one is a thief from Zamoria and the average one is an adventurer from Hyperborea.

Barbarian: “Okay, everyone ready now? Remember, we have to cross the Darfari village to get to our destination, enter the sewers - and from there there is no turning back then, by Crom!"

Thief: “So I have everything with me: material for the torches, ropes and various tools for opening doors and other locks!”

Adventurer: “yep, enough provisions, arrows and a few spare daggers, we’re ready to go!”

Barbarian: Now this is what I’d like to hear, onto action everyone, there’s a Monster that needs to be slain, by Crom!“

We watch as everyone closes their backpacks and stands up, with the barbarian in front, as befits a Cimmerian brawler.

About an hour later…

Adventurer: “Is it still very far??” whereupon the barbarian turns around and grunts “The journey is already too much for you, huh? We’ve only just made it to the village now, so make an effort, there won’t be any whining like a Zamoran woman here! Nothing against you, thief. …”

Thief: “No problem, but let’s drink and eat something first, who knows how many opponents we’ll have to fight against now?”

Barbarian: “And you didn’t have time to eat something on the way or what?!? Well, as far as I’m concerned, just eat something if you have to…”

Acknowledging his sentence with a pained smile, the adventurer reaches into his backpack and looks questioningly at the barbarian, to which he replies “No thanks. Nothing for me, unlike you, I have prepared myself!” whispering to himself “By Crom, we won’t be able to see the sewage demon anymore today if they continue like this…”

Relieved and with a smile, the adventurer reaches into his backpack and hands the thief a piece of meat and a water skin, while the barbarian looks towards the village and observes the situation from a distance.

(End of Pt. I)

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(Part II)

Suddenly a loud scream tears him from his thoughts.

“By Set, WHAT is THAT?!” shouts the thief. With a jerk, the barbarian jumps up, seemingly effortlessly draws a sword the length of a full-grown man and turns excitedly to the thief. “What is it? Damn it, what’s going on!?” while he frantically looks around the area.

Thief: “Well, I don’t believe that now! The adventurer gives me meat and something to drink, and at the same moment he takes it away from me!!” Adventurer: “I didn’t have that, I gave it to you, and at the same moment the stuff went back into my backpack! As if by magic, I swear!”

Barbarian: “Don’t bullshit you two, inventory CANNOT just go back into the backpack - there are no WIZARDS HERE yet, so stop the bullshit!”

With a desperate look, the adventurer turns his face away to dig into the backpack again to get the thief’s provisions. “Oh shit, something’s spoiled here, I’ll throw it away…”

Thief: “Give me something to eat first!” - “Yes, yes, it’s okay, here…”

“WHAT ON THE GODS?!?” the thief shouts, causing the barbarian, who seems rather tense, to flinch again.

Barbarian: “What’s wrong NOW??”

Thief: “I’ve seen it myself now! First the provisions was in his hand and the next moment it was gone - there’s magic involved!”

Adventurer: „And now it’s back in my inventory AGAIN, in the backpack! How is that possible, I gave it to you thief, this time you saw it with your own eyes, didn’t you???" - “Yes, I did…”. Desperation appears on the faces of the thief and the Adventurer’s wide.

“Okay damn it, that’s enough! Let’s get up and move on, then try something to eat in the sewer again. Now let’s go, you two!” said the barbarian angrily and stood up, marching away with a brisk step… “Are you coming!?” The fighter stands impatiently on the beach, eager for the fight and shaking his head in amazement at his companions’ excuses.

Shaking his head, the adventurer stands up, shrugs his shoulders, looks at the thief and both follow their leader, the Darfari village already in sight…

When they finally got close enough to the village, the barbarian raises his hand, turns towards the thief and whispers “Thief, check the situation - what and who and above all HOW MANY are we dealing with? Us Waiting here for you, may Crom support you!”

After a while the thief finally returns to report the following: “Well, we can forget the first half of the village! Too many archers and magicians, we can never fight our way through that. But in front of the entrance to the sanctuary there are only a few guards, So if we can get through unseen until then…” Doubtful, he turns his gaze to the barbarian.

Barbarian: “Why are you looking at me like that? I’m not a thief so forget about sneaking around, tell us how to get in there!” Thief: “Okay, do you see the rock wall to our right? I’ll climb up and attach a rope, and then you two will follow. Adventurers, the rope, please…”

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(Pt III & the last)


„I… I seem to have… lost our rope, somehow?“

Barbarian: „You SEEM to have lost it??“

Adventurer: „I swear, I took it along with me, no clue where it is now??“

Thief: “Did you perhaps accidentally throw it away when you threw away the rotting one?” - “No, I ONLY threw away the rotten thing! I’ll probably be able to distinguish a rope from a piece of rotting meat!” Thief: “And now?” Adventurer: “I’ll go back and see if I can find it…”

One hour later…

Barbarian: Okay thief, find out where he is, it can’t take that long!"

A whole TWO hours later, the sun is already high in the midday sky, the thief and the adventurer come back completely out of breath. “What in Croms name has kept you so long ?!”

Thief: “So you DON’T believe THAT…” - “Stop it and get to the damn point!” the barbarian replies, completely out of patience.

Thief: “So, I walk back to the point from where we started this morning, no sign of our friend. Don’t think twice, go back to the base and get a replacement rope, and then I saw it…” “What about crom, WHAT did you see?!” – „“NOTHING, but I heard our friend calling.” - "How do you call and why don’t YOU say anything, adventurer? Are you both just afraid and want to avoid the task, is that it?!"

With a red face and a voice full of anger, the barbarian stares questioningly at the adventurer, but the adventurer just shrugs his shoulders and lowers his head.

Thief*: “Well he… his voice… she… SHE CAME FROM THE FLOOR of our house!” “By Crom, if you don’t want to go then say so and stop trying to tell me such Black Hand stories!” - “No no, he was actually IN THE FLOOR - I had to use a pickaxe to free him!”* The barbarian looked at his two companions wordlessly.

Adventurer: „It seems the Gods are against our endeavor, maybe we should…“ - “Give me the damn rope and YOU, THIEF, get to work, now!”

With a look that would make even a mammoth’s blood run cold, the barbarian stared at the thief, his eyes flashing wildly with anger. “Okay, give it here,” said the thief and climbed up the wall. After less than 10 minutes the three had found the end of the village and the only lightly guarded entrance to the sewer. And just a few minutes later they found themselves well hidden in a bush, just a few meters from the stairs to the holy place.

Barbarian: “Okay, the thief runs past the guards, I attack them from behind while they’re distracted and you watch my back with your bow and arrow, adventurer!”

No sooner said than done, the thief ran, distracted the guards and the barbarian was already running out of cover with his sword drawn when the unthinkable happened… The barbarian had just left his cover and approached the first of the two guards when the thief just collapsed like that and coughed up blood. The barbarian, already in the middle of the fight, just heard a loud scream coming from the adventurer’s direction. With a roll he got himself out of the immediate danger area and quickly looked in the direction of the adventurer… he was lying dead on the ground, and NO ONE NEAR, almost as if INVISIBLE POWERS had killed him…

Desperate and yet calm thanks to his combat experience, the barbarian took out the two guards and ran towards the rope to get to safety. And RIGHT AT THAT moment it happened: he received an INVISIBLE sword blow, staggered, and was horrified to see that about a dozen enemies had appeared out of nowhere RIGHT AROUND HIM and were attacking him. Faced with certain death, the barbarian fell to his knees while the attackers, swinging their weapons wildly, rushed forward to deliver the finishing blow. The barbarian’s last words were „This is not FUN, C’om!“ And this ends the story about 3 Adventurers or „A BUGS‘ Life“.


I recommend you for your next trip to try an expedition to get obsidian, I think, without too much doubt, you will get an epic story that will go through the ages. :rofl:

and if you didn’t die or gone crazy after that, try the grail with Khari steel
the bards will sing your praise

congrat and thank you

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Lamo, right! There is several Biomes, and the Wine Cellar + the Volcano will be great Setups for a good Story!
Hope you enjoyed the Trip, viewing our most beloved bugs through a Exiles’ perspective hehe. :wink::ok_hand:

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