Getting the wife to enjoy playing

So, here’s a little background. i’ve been trying to get my wife to actively play with me for a long time. i made a bet with her that i could “beat the game” without getting the “slay” journey step. basically a pacifist run. i managed to succeed and was able to leave the exiled lands without killing anything. the wife has held up her end of the bargain and has been playing a half hour a week. it’s not really enough time to do anything or get anything serious done and she hasn’t really been having a good time. i looked to her favorite game series of all time for inspiration. harvest moon / story of seasons.

i believe i can stretch the limits of conan’s sandbox style of play enough to give her a harvest moon/story of season experience within the exiled lands and hopefully make playing a lot more fun and interesting for her. i created a 3x3 starter hut and gave her a small fenced in field with 3x3 rows of crude planters. i also placed a compost box and campfire outside her house. inside there is a stove, a bed, a preservation box with ice, a cupboard, and a few small decorations (table, chairs, rug, etc). because combat is her least favorite thing i also gave her a level 20 T4 bearer named “harvest sprite” who will auto attack all enemies at max range. any future thralls she collects will be her villagers. if she gives them food presents from their diet lists i’ll bring them out and get them a level up for her.

i’m also setting up a large crate as a way for her to sell her products to me for gold and silver which she can then use to buy items from me. here’s where i need the help. i need help creating a balanced economy for her and i’m hoping some private server admins might be able to help me with pricing. i’d like to set up an exchange rate of 10 silver per 1 gold. here are some of the things i’d like to be able to sell her:

any 1 non-living/non crafted item of her choosing (could be something like flowers or seeds that she can’t find)
any 1 living item of her choosing (thralls or pets)
any 1 quest/journey step item (diadem of the giant kings or such)
house expansion to 5x5
house expansion to 8x8
further house expansions/new buildings
field expansion to 6x6
field expansion to 9x9
further field expansions
planter upgrades
housing material upgrades (sandstone to t2, or t2 housing materials to t3 materials)
farm upgrades (such as adding an animal pen or a building such as a barn to hold her pets)
rent an adventurer service (to help her out if she wants to go exploring or looking for things)
rent an adventurer premium (for dungeons or world bosses)

i’d like the rent an adventurer service to be relatively cheap, as i want to encourage her to actually adventure with me. and of course i’m open for suggestions to anything else i can add to my “shop” or any sort of farming related quests or goals i could give her.

thanks for reading and hopefully for incoming suggestions.


You are so cool. My wife been playing since she saw me with it and trade in her new Xbox for a ps4 so we could be on the same platform. She loves the building aspect growing plants and decorating. Enjoys killing also but doesn’t get into the dungeons. As to what you want to set up I don’t have a answer
. Will follow you post interested in other people’s ideas. Edit due to auto spell lol


You rock, I hope your wife’s into it. As a 20-year marriage vet, I can say you never know, AND great work so far. :+1:t2:

I’ll ping @Larathiel for some quick hints on server economy, and potentially interesting takes on exchanges. The trick, I believe, is to make it rewarding and worthwhile. Larathiel has a lot of experience on servers, and I hope he has time to drop some insight.


Now that’s Romantic. A Marriage takes lots of work, huh?


Consideration, deriving joy from her delight, and enjoying her company are never hard work.


True story, good luck.


I was about to suggest that installing Pippi and Emberlight on the server would be a great way to go for someone who enjoys sustainable farming and wants to build an economy. Buuut then I noticed that this is in the PlayStation sub-forum so unless @Silver96camaro is a pretty good hacker or willing to switch over to PC, then that’s probably not viable. (On my servers, we use both those mods and many players have made use of Pippi’s “Thespians” to setup shops from time to time.)

That said, even on the unmodded Official PvE servers, it was not uncommon for folks to trade stone, iron, star metal, or thralls for what they needed. Generally, base materials like wood, stone, and iron proved to be the most reliable commodities (though silver and gold were useful too), so we’d generally base trade values off of how much time and effort was required to acquire rarer items vs. how long it took to mine 1000s of the base materials.

Unfortunately, I can’t recall what sort of values we used since it’s been a while, though I do remember some players enjoyed the serenity of diving for treasure chests coinage to spelunking in the volcano. :slight_smile:


You could admin in bronze coins. Put them In a crate or chests just outside her comfort zone to encourage her to explore some. Then use the coins for barter for something from the taxidermy creatures to decorate her little village. @Silver96camaro .


Alrighty, for anyone interested, here’s what we ended up going with for now. Bear in mind that the prices are to help make things enjoyable and easy for her. anyone who’s played the game before could totally abuse this and that’s fine :stuck_out_tongue: she hasn’t figured out how yet. lol.

Shipping Bin Buying Prices:
1x any weapon or armor = 1 silver
10x of any item excluding wood, stone, branch, or plant fiber = 1 silver
100x of wood, stone, branch, or plant fiber = 1 silver
3x rough wraps or 1x weak aloe potion = 1 silver
3x mid-tier wraps or 1x mid-tier aloe potion = 5 silver
3x high tier wraps or 1x high tier aloe potion = 1 gold

Exchange Rate 10 Silver = 1 Gold

i will check shipping bin daily or she may call for a shipping bin pick up at any time

Unlock the Store by earning 1 gold piece

Store Prices:
Any 1 non-living / non-crafted item (she must know item name to request it) = 1 silver
Rent an Adventurer (escort duty to one location, defense, return trip) = 5 silver
Tool Repair = 5 silver
Rent an Adventurer Premium (will escort to dungeon or boss, assist, and safe return home)= 1 gold
Any 1 crafted item of her choosing (special rules for weapons / armor) = 5 gold
Tool / Armor upgrade to next tier (must be high enough level) = 5 gold
Upgrade planter boxes = 5 gold per box
Any 1 animal of your choosing = 10 gold (must have appropriate facility (animal pen or stables) or pay 5 additional gold fee)
Add your choice of villager! = 10 gold (must have villager welcome center(wheel of pain) or pay 5 additional gold fee)
Upgrade Crafting station to next tier = 10 gold
Add a crafting station / farm upgrade / get rare recipie (see list) of your choice = 20 gold

Unlock Farm and Field Expansions by earning 20 gold pieces total

Housing and Field Upgrades:
Expand field to 6x6 (includes planters and fence) = 30 gold
Add another floor to house = 40 gold
Expand house to 5x5 = 50 gold
Expand field to 9x9 = 60 gold
Expand house to 8x8 = 80 gold
Farm Relocation Service (will relocate house, field, and all other structures to new location) = 100 gold
Custom shape house = (price varies based on size of desired house)
Upgrade housing tier = (price based on size and tier, must be level appropriate)
Additional Structures = (price based on size of structure desired)

Tool, Weapon, and Armor Progression
must upgrade tools in order: stone → iron → steel → hardened steel → star metal (must also be high enough to unlock feat)

she can purchase any weapon as long as she is high enough level to unlock the feat

she can purchase any armor (that she is high enough to unlock feat) but must purchase light first then upgrade to medium, then heavy.

i’ve provided her a list of what i consider workstations, farm upgrades, and the types of “villagers” available for her farm. the rare recipes would be what you could get from the library of esoterics.

so far, we’ve played together twice using the above. haven’t really had a chance to test it out. the first day, she spent getting to know her immediate area and doing some gathering. she also figured out how to grow seeds. day two she did a little more gathering (stumbled into gallaman tomb) crafted up some aloe potions and sold them to me. made enough to unlock “the store”. next time she logs in she’ll find a special visitor in her town. Galacus the Gourmand is there and will challenge her to create 3 meals from the improved stove to win 3 gold coins. lol.


So cool :sunglasses:.

Based on the nature of the two games you said was your wife’s favorite, I’m going to have to say that your wife won’t be into the game because the fundamentals of the games are different. Yes, Conan Exiles lets you have the option of just simply living, but there’s little to no reward because there’s no NPC interaction along with it. For example, when you grow crops in CE what is the ultimate goal for it? Most likely for consumption or decorative because those two are the only options there are. Whereas in Harvest Moon, you grow crops to sell them which lets you improve your quality of life in the game. There’s a reward for living a peaceful lifestyle in Harvest Moon but in Conan Exiles you’re simply just being there. And although you’re trying to play the role of the NPC, I don’t think she sees it as being the same as doing it in Harvest Moon.

As for trying to get your wife to adventure with you, try giving her a support role with the bow. I’m assuming she doesn’t really find the appeal in fighting so letting her shoot healing arrows and other special arrows may be the best way to have her get engaged. Also, try to raise the difficulty for fun to make her essential for your survival, that way she knows she’s vital. And try giving her a pet thrall she might like so she’ll want to keep it alive when you enter fights, especially because they’ll be squishy at level 1 since she doesn’t like fighting, but might also give her a reason to.


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