So I’ve tried both a manual setup as well as used the dedicated server launcher but no matter what I try, we can’t connect to our server. The ports are forwarded in our router and everything is unblocked in Windows 10 firewall. Using the launcher, test port accessibility also comes back successful. Both I and my wife can see the server in the list and try to connect, but neither of us can get in. The attempt times out after about 3 minutes.
Thought I would post our solution for anyone else having similar issues.
After a TON of searching, I found a Reddit post where someone suggested using the Direct Connect option instead of the server list, and this completely fixed the issue for us. I also added a launch option to the game via Steam (right click on the game and go to properties) +connect 1.1.1.1:27015 +password P@ssW0rd so the game just automatically loads the server when it launches which is really cool. It gives an error message about PVE incompatibility or something, but if you ignore it, the server launches about 10 seconds later.