When setting up a server, I had this setting in mind. Today, it is still running but nobody is playing on it. If you have a bunch of people, you can revive it. But you need a certain number to attract more people to join, which I never could accomplish. 
To answer the OP, yes there are servers like that, your take is in private servers, forget official ones. It may take you some time to find the perfect most suitable server for your playstyle but eventually you will find one where people are actually good pvpāers AND nice people too. Be patient, scroll the servers and recruitment Forum, and donāt lose hope.
The key point here is, server rules and admins. Something official servers lack. Itās like choosing between a sort of DMād server or the wild west.Iām in for the first of course. Real life is enough of a jungle alreadyā¦
And donāt worry about wipes, gold servers always offer copy of db files, or help rebuilding if requested after clean restarts. At least the servers Iāve played in, though they havenāt had a wipe since Iāve been in them to be honest. Good admins take care of removing unclaimed buildings and stuff all over the map when any of the players report them.
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