You can build beautiful on regular servers. There was a excellent village built by the Wardens on #616 before the Frozen North. The key point is just not to have things people want to steal. If you want to build beautiful, then you cannot hoard. ‘Box’ forts and such are for hoarding, and for hardcore PvP.
My clan built some great bases on our server, after we established dominance. We called them our ‘RP homes’ and they were just pretty houses we built for fun.
Players won’t wreck your entire base ‘just cause’. They’ll raid you, and take everything of value, but they won’t wreck your home if it doesn’t look profitable to them.
If you want to build beautiful, then I’d recommend just sticking to T1 or T2 structures. Build cheap, use utilize windows to let players see that you have nothing to steal. Build homes without doors, so that players can just enter them without needing to break down the door. Don’t recruit thralls. Use your building materials as soon as you earn them. And stash away your tools somewhere hidden when you’re not currently using them. Also: Play nice with the other clans. If they know you’re not a threat, they won’t worry about you. You could maybe even work out a protection deal with them, or help them destroy a more hostile clan.