The same year Abraham Lincoln was born, my University was founded – so it only seemed right to choose 1809 as my very first Official Server after Conan’s release. I looked at it metaphorically, like a coming of age. I had honed myself to a very fine point, testing and testliving, reporting glitches and generally making a nuisance of myself to all the bug users. And to Exploit Hunters, of course, like a human river of glitches and bedroll mesh bugs.
My plan was to go in Solo. Go in strong and overt. I built a really obnoxious tower and set to work gathering humanoids. Imagine a svelte, slender monolith topped by a very glans-like 4-seat Wheel. Some nights I’d go up onto the center of the wheel and eat some snacks. One of those times, I took arrow fire right in the bean from somewhere north of Asagarth. Things were very different then.
Everyone left me alone, and I kept pretty much out of everyone else’s way. Soon I had two metal chests full of T1 and T2 Nord Fighters. I was really just after the free thrall bows, but with the help of my favorite T3 Nord and a basher, we filled the 4-seat and the 3 concealed wheels. Day and night, any thrall at all.
It doesn’t sound like much, but it was fun. Simple fun.
I leveled slowly and enjoyably. Every tradition was upheld: the acquisition of Darfari gear for a run through the Swungle before 45, the gathering of a dancer skirt and bellydance recipe for other rituals. But none were as important as what came at 50: a languorous nude swim at Sepermeru.
With a few clicks, I loaded my finest armor, and equipped Diogenes with his Hyperborean set and his new steel poniards. It was all so expensive. And believe it or not, this was Real Day 4, with 10 levels still to go.
We dropped down via the Lakewatch Gap: the Goat Slaver Clan was farming rhinos, and Dio and I slipped by unnoticed. After that, it was a veritable sprint. I knew we were surrounded, and heading to the Lion’s Den.
These days, the area I like to swim is covered in Bandits and Thugs. But back then, it was open for all swimmers. I unequipped my gear, and then slipped into the water. It was so beautiful, and so dangerous. Bombs were exploding somewhere near Relicwatch, and there was a skirmish in my view, centering on the Tavern backside. Dio was unimpressed as he waited by the shore. So I kept swimming.
Eventually the battles accreted to my zone, with two tribes fighting the Goats, and a near constant stream of nakeds coming back from the the combined clans. Slowly I swam to shore, put Diogenes on Follow, and we pretty much just walked right through the battle. It felt like a two-man parade, with the stunned clans just watching.
I strode. Armored, but without chestpiece or helmet. Dio followed, seething, knives at the ready. I’m not sure if it was the sheer balls of it all, but we were untouched, and just as soon as we passed, the killing resumed.
Part of me said “of course they left us alone!” but the real half of me said “I’m a nobody, we should be dead,” but we were completely unmolested all the way back to our tower at Stormwatch. Diogenes had earned a nice rest.
Unfortunately in my haste, I kept Dio on Follow as I crossed the threshold of my workshop. There was a glitch at the time where they would fall to their deaths in certain situations and certain thresholds. This was both of them. And instead of a due reward, Diogenes earned his eternal rewards: I threw open the door and howled, uselessly. His little corpse had rolled down to where the wolves like to gather.
My heart sank. And of course, when I got to him his corpse was empty. No event log, anybody’s guess, and I’m not the sort to cry about loss in chat. I sucked it up and tried to not make it personal. But I felt the bitterness rising on the heels of such exaltation. Bitterness I would definitely need. Soon would come my first raid, and then my first death from another player. But I would get Dio’s gear back, I would gain friends I still possess, and I would have a cheater banned for life all before I pulled up tent pegs. Those were some days.