This is more a suggestion on how to view Perks and attributes rather than specific examples.
Strength and Vitality are already really strong when it comes to combat, there is no real reason to go heavily into anything else unless you are going out to harvest.
Make Agility perks give bonuses to those who choose light weapons (daggers, throwing axes, spears) and light armor. Giving mobility and dmg bonuses, like increased bleed dmg with daggers, double jump like now but only when wearing light armor.
Grit is already good because stamina is usefull to run after/away in combat, but with a name like grit I think it should be more than just having loads of stamina. Like giving a armor and dmg bonus when being low on stamina, encouraging you to constantly use stamina. Being able to use light attack while sprinting, but it drains loads of stamina.
Having lots in encumbrance should make you a juggernaut, not being affected by slow or knockdowns when using a shield and/or heavy armor. Maybe give HP regen when standing still with a shield up.
Survival should make you a hard f’cker. Not giving a damn about bleeds, poison or gas, it shreds right off. Being thirsty makes you sprint faster, being hungry makes you hit harder.
I like your suggestion in general, but:
Encumbrance should stay as it is. It is needed by everyone - be it archers or heavy armor wearing people. Giving them even more to stay safe is nuts. -78% damage received plus those stats from legion (until it got reviewed, maybe going down to +2 per piece) should be enough protection. If you want better heal(th), stack vitality on top.
As for survival, I would love for any healing boost (or the passive regen) to be moved there. Maybe instead of the 30th perk, while that one gets included into 20th perk.
You forgot a stat:
Accuracy. For that one I would like other perks, which are interesting for melee as well.
Because currently only hammer guys would like 40 accuracy, but since that would be the only useful perk, it means its a bad idea to stack it for that. And as bowdamage is laughable nobody stacks this stat - aside of masochists. (Yes I know, new arrows + old powershot coming, but I am speaking of the current situation.)
Like the armor penetration one staying where it is, granting +20% as a flat value, to be added on top of weapon ap. The slowing perk moving to 20th perk, appliying on each slow being more intense.
10th accuracy might be +10% bow damage or something like “applied debuffs last 20% longer”.
Third one would need to become stronger - i.e. 30%. While the headshot one eighter becomes a passive for everyone without having to stack 50 accuracy (pleasing hammerguys and 2h swords, the damagemultiplier might need to be reduced to +25-30% though or stronger (i.e. +75%) for bows only. (Unless the returning powershot gets some additional multiplier - like +30%.) Though I would prefer some archery/ranged only perk there, which applies on every target instead of relying on additional hitboxes, which are only present on humanoid monsters as it seems?