The ability to resolve differences peacefully

I was slightly taken aback to realize that a querry I had posted about had, shall we say, taken another turn. Another player had assumed my identity on a PvE (Conflict) server, and I wanted to know if this was acceptable or not, and if so, what action(s) I might take. I thought this was a rather straightforward question.

Just for the record, Lavarana (which was MY name, on this server) came here and presented a different perspective. Fair enough. It is perfectly normal that there are two sides to any story.

But I was a wee bit surprised that this account was taken at face value by some, with no real questions asked.

If I was talking badly about this person in a language they freely admitted they did not understand, then, pray tell how did they know what I was saying? This is a fairly elementary question that any thinking person person might ask themselves.

It turns out that the other party (who remember, adopted my in game name and clan name) was having a lot of problems with other players. And yes, I understand that PvP is a legitimate part of the game.

But, I did not camp on their doorstep and I never asked anyone else to do so, either.

I was simply asking for advice on what is, at its essence, a matter of another player assuming my identity.

Personally, I don’t really mind PvP. It is the nature of the game and if you do not like it, don’t play that way. BUT (and again, I return to the real issue here) using the system to adopt another player’s identity is simply not on. And if I may offer a suggestion, this might be a moment for a fairly common sense rule clarification, or change.

To just let those who were waiting for their tea to cool: I DID make a complaint, gathered evidence, and sent it in. Because I have never used the complaint system, I did not send the correctly formatted screenshots. I rectified that.

But then a strange thing happened.

We were talking, in-game last night, my doppelganger and I. And we managed to realize we had some common ground; that we were in fact both human beings, and while we might have some basic philosophical differences, we were united by (among other shared experiences) at least one single thing: Our love/hate relationship with this game- bugs and all.

At this point, he agreed to cease impersonating me, and changed his clan name. I told him I had made a complaint against him, and he agreed that there was no problem about that, but after I logged out, I sent an email to the Zendesk and asked them to not ban him, because we had resolved our differences by communicating, and actually listening to each other.

My problem was not that he had killed me, in game. My problem was that he was impersonating me.

But it turns out that I was not seeing him as a living, breathing person, with a different set of reference points, but instead as some horrible NPC bent on ruining my gaming experience. And maybe he was seeing me the same way.

Again, I would like to emphasize that we organically resolved our differences. I did not see all this until today, but I just wanted to let those few who might have been mildly diverted by the drama of it all that yes, people CAN make peace. He may attack and kill me in PvP hours. I may even be sore about it. The reverse might also happen.

But at the end of the day, quite often, we need to remember that this IS a game.

And so, to quote Pepys, to bed.

6 Likes

Whoever kills the other in the next battle, I hope they save the skins and limbs of the other for posterity in the fridge.

2 Likes

Nah, I usually feed it to the hyena whelps.

Glad to hear everything worked out! I hope the added info to the Zendesk ticket is taken into consideration. I would warn you that it might not take based on Zendesk behaviours but fingers crossed.

But other than the individual, no one thought him assuming your in game identity was ok.

Neither was your actions according to his version of events.

Besides the point now.

4 Likes

I pretty much blame this on how Blizzard handled things in WoW about 20 years ago. For some odd reason they thought that they should scramble speech between players on different factions. Their reasoning was that PVPers would crap-talk each other and they would have more reports filed for nasty language and what not.

Instead they fostered a “Red Equals Dead” mentality. You couldn’t group with different players, you couldn’t trade with them, and you couldn’t even talk to each other.

This made things as you said in your experience in essence players treating each other as NPCs.

I prefer my PVP as we did even before WoW came out. Where players could talk to each other. Does crap talk happen? Sure. But what else can happen is dialogue. You can have friendly competition. You can even reason with each other. Heck you can get into minor in-character vibes for near Role-play like interactions such as taking prisoners, bribes, and extortions.

Its one of the reasons when I do PVP in Conan Exiles, its on servers that have at least lite-RP. Encouraging that you take the time to talk with an opponent before clicking each other to death. It makes said encounters have more meaning, even makes them more memorable, and even at times allows you to make new friends.

But in the unmoderated servers, the red equals dead mentality tends to reign supreme. But it doesn’t need to. In Elite Dangerous for example, there are players who seek to PVP through Piracy for example. They don’t just interdict someone and then blow them up. They inform them they are being robbed and to drop some of their cargo.

If they run, they get their cargo hatches forcibly opened. If they attack the pirate with lethal force, then they may be killed for it. But there is at least a dialogue, and a chance for some interaction than simply being NPCs.

You said it well there. Its better when players don’t treat each other like NPCs. Its even better when they don’t -act- like NPCs towards each other. You can still fight and PVP, but make it interesting for everyone. Not simply a bad luck time sinking tax.

1 Like

Several players, myself included had a very long feud in Game with @GodlyVoice that escalated quite heavily and still we managed to get on civilized terms later on and were even on friendly terms until he decided to move on.
We were both caring about the game, just on different terms

2 Likes

That may have fostered a culture where people don’t see their opponents as people, but a similar phenomenon has been evident online even when everyone shares the same language: being able to hide behind a nickname and an avatar has both enabled people to act like jerks, as well as to see the other party as nothing but pixels and bytes on the internet.

And of course, there could be anyone behind that nickname and avatar, which makes it harder to eyeball the situation where we’re communicating. I don’t know whether you’re a 13-year-old girl trying to act all grown-up, or the Pope. So it’s easier to interpret you just as “imaginary NPC on the internet”.

A question I’ve sometimes asked in online chats is “Would you say something like that to a random passer-by you don’t know if you met them in real life?” The reactions have been interesting.

1 Like

Exactly! Thanks for your valuable feedback my fellow exile. Your story is true and honors you. Congratulations.

1 Like

I still think you should probably kill and eat him just in case

2 Likes

Also known as Gabriel’s G.I.F.T. :wink:

It’s definitely an good filter to apply, but after a few passes of back-and-forth it starts failing in interesting ways. Had a random passer-by engaged me in some of the discussions I’ve had here, I would probably have said the stuff I’ve said in those discussions.

That said, there is a disturbing tendency to conflate your “random passer-by” filter with a “you wouldn’t dare say that to me if I could get my hands on you” filter. It’s especially evident on these forums, where too many people use the following R. E. Howard quote:

Yeah, no shіt, the whole point of civilization is that we’re not beating up or killing each other just because we disagree.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble. I’ll shut up now :smiley:

1 Like

I disagree that that is the whole point of civilization. So… Pistols at dawn or do you prefer swords?

1 Like

This topic was automatically closed 7 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.