It is a hell of a grind to craft more advanced tools and weapons. Steel should by DEFAULT last twice as long as iron and hardened steel at least twice as long as steel. A durability kit should double the life of the weapon or tool it is applied to. For every 100 pieces of ore you end up with only 12.5 pieces of freaking hardened steel. By the time you smolt the ore, the smolt grind for the crap you need to make steel and smolt the steel for the ore… THEN grind for the brimstone to smolt the steel for hardened steel,… make a hardened steel pick to mine the ore…there is no way in HELL that pick should be already half WASTED after only 2 runs of mining ore… ESPECIALLY if I have added a durability kit that cost MORE hardened steel to make. That’s ridiculous.
IF the issue is the server…FIX IT.
Official server in America… 2501. It SHOULD be like that on all official servers. There is no way a more advanced tool or weapon should wear just as fast or faster than a lesser one. … especially with all the freaking grinding you have to do in this game.
How about creating an in-game economy, let someone else make steel for you in return for something you hate less doing.
I’m starting up a brimstone/steelfire business, could need an allied clan to mine ore close by tho and we would have something good going on to offer exiles like you 
Durability kits reduce the costs of repair as well…
20 points into Survival will have you harvesting twice as fast (not twice as much).
Tools take 1 durability damage per hit, which stands to say it is doubled if you place the needed points into the Hard Worker perk.
Yellow Lotus FTW
On higher tier tool I use 2 things.
master repair kits and Hyam Hammerhand
The guy makes one kit out of 3 hardened steel. With the kit you can repair any tool / weapon up to 90% Without the knowledge of the tool / weapon. Also with a named BS you can repair things for less materials.
So you don’t have to grind for starmetal for instance. (getting steel is not to hard also brimstone so hardened steel is pretty cheap in therms of time. just make a round in assgarden and at salt lake put the things into a furnace and voila :D)
Also I am using acheronian pick that thing can get me 9k iron / stone between 2 repairs. (with the tool upgrade (NOT with the REINFORCE upgrade), and ofc 20 survi 50 encumb spec)
Shame is acheronian pick you can only learn if you search for it inside the feats tab. Nowhere listed.
Hope it helps you.
Maybe its the server settings . Even with the Obsidian pick I don’t get much more yield. Not everyone is able to capture a tier 4 thrall. If you are grinding like hell that should by default be a better tool that yields more and lasts longer. Having a high level thrall should be a perk in less material used and better quality on TOP of that. By default it should be better regardless. That’s the point of a “BETTER” tool in real life. How is it better if it does the SAME exact thing and wears just as quickly? You go through HELL to get star metal. Yet , so far it seems I have found the ONLY thing the star metal tool has done better is mine star metal.