Some of my Trials and Tribulations in Conan Exiles


I bought the game 31 Jan 2017. My first night I built a humble abode overlooking the southern river, I was around level ten when 2 naked guys with 2 handed hammers came by knocking me down over and over (hammers were op then). I finally managed to get away but when i ran up to my base i got hung up on the door, was killed and the 2 naked guys got into my base. Fortunately I put my bedroll under the stairs and had it walled off with a door, but i could see out through the stairs at these two naked guys running through my home. For about an hour i had watch and listen to a couple of drunk English guys tell me how they would rape me all while hanging their sausages so i could see them through the stairs.

That was my first day playing Conan Exiles.

Couple months down the road from my first day of Conan, I was at wits end. The Chinese on the pvp server were exploiting the hell out of the game, swimming under the world and coming up from the ground anywhere they wanted. We were getting hammered cause every time we logged of the Chinese would get inside our base and take everything (chests didn’t lock back then). We merged with another larger clan who were facing the same issue. Naked with nothing at all we salvaged our entire t3 base to take all the mats to our new clans base to reinforce it. I was naked, over burdened and could barely move but with everyone escorting me me we got the all the mats to the base we going to reinforce. It was up on cliffs (couldn’t climb then) so it was a good defensive position. I arrive at the base and go the fire and get some food, everyone else kinda goes about their business when all of a sudden a bunch of Chinese come out of the ground and kill everyone. They took like 700 steel reinforcements and like 2000 hardened brick. The whole clan bailed, and I never seen any of them again. I fought a gorilla war for about a week killing the Chinese farmers who would run around naked. I lived bedroll to bedroll logging out up on cliffs in remote areas. Was fun, I guess.

The day trebuchet were released I arrived home and logged in 45 minutes after the patch released and our base was already destroyed and all the stuff gone.

Still log in a little here and there on the test live, will do a new pvp campaign when the big patch goes live.


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I played on SMP(and lived happily ever after).

Seriously though, that sounds horrible. You didn’t go to a different server or anything?

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I have played on like 7 different servers, done about 9 PvP campaigns. Biggest problem I see is people give up too easily.


Come to 1540 official pvp. Public map rooms, low pop at the moment, plenty of room to build.

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Funny how things are… even on games, they tend to match somehow with the way we take our lives… you see, naked guys, “hanging their sausages” , and looking at your pic this is kinda hilarious :stuck_out_tongue:

I got the game at the very beggining too, my character name was always “Aranha” wich means Spider in Portuguese, and used to live on that mountain with a cave at the transition area between the desert and the jungle just near The Dryfalls darfari camp.

Then FC added the world bosses, for my surprise, I got the big Tarantula boss as my neighbor just at the mountain side. Love it ^^

If I worked at HR, and was tasked with training people in anger management and how mobbing feels like, i’d have them play Conan Exiles PvP, and have them earn their certification by bringing me 400 units of composite obsidian.

The ordeal will of course be paid by work hours, otherwise they’d never get the certification.

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For sure :laughing:

Not complaining about any of my experiences in Conan, game has come a long way.

I can agree with rollback on a PvE server, not PvP though. Personally I think PvP servers should be reset every 3 to 6 months.

On my first PVP Official when we were capped at 50, I started out on the cliffs near Shattered Bridge. I began as small square elements that quickly shifted into an experimental build of hanging panels and hidden loot. It took to resemble a Cathedral, with two large blades jutting into the setting sun, for all to see. I kept an open roof, and my bedchamber in the open. While they were studying my construction, I was building a giant phallic tower near the jungle border east of the Galleon. Before they knew it, I was 14 stories tall in Tier 3. The Alpha gave me permission to “go ahead and Tier 3” my temples. I was established.

Then June rolled around and wiped me off the map, with levels intact, but naked as a jaybird. I was actually running down the river from the Galleon one minute, then dying of starvation looking for branches the next. Honestly, nothing did in our pop worse than the wipes.

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